Tortured Princess
by Dez-Audrey-Darc
Summary: Ok... HEY GUYS! It's me, Miz female versoin of Zim. ^_^ Ok... this is a story inspired by my life, sorry it's not IZ but it's really cool, and I would love for you to read it! I haven't exactly tried to do.. well... the ending... yet..o.o; but lets just h


Tortured Princess All I've ever known was the pain of rejection. All I've ever saw was the site of others getting what I most deeply desire. All I've ever dreamed was to finally fit in. All I've ever longed for. was to finally feel the sweet embrace of love. However, all I know is pain. As my body slowly drifts away, my mind remains insane. As my heart slowly beats today, It will forever long the release of my pain.  
  
Memory log: 101  
  
Diary, I feel as if my heart were going to explode. I feel as if my life is nothing but depression. I feel as if I wish to die. I love him. Through all he's done to me, I still love him. Through all he's DOING to me, I still love him. It's strange how I can do this. It's strange how he loves it. He loves the fact that my tears are cried constantly. and cried for him at that. He loves the fact that my pain is simply felt for him. It gives him great pride that he has me exactly where he wants me. It makes him feel so much better because now he has someone that he can make feel terrible. while he laughs at them. That seems to always cheer him up. Always.  
  
My River  
  
There is a river, In nowhere, That I call "my own." It is result of despair, And being all alone.  
  
You'll see the source, If you look in my eyes. My tears, of coarse, Are for all your lies.  
  
You've lied to me, Countless times, You are the see, For this river of crimes.  
  
My river runs straight from me, To you, my love, my so called "one and only." You will forever be, The sea, Of this river of tears to thee.  
  
END MEMORY LOG  
  
Memory Log: 115  
  
Diary, I'm sorry, I know it's been dreadfully long since I wrote in you. Last night I cried myself to sleep again. It seems that I've been doing that lately. I wonder why. Oh let's see, let me think. What seems to always be my problem? What seems to always be my depression source? Oh yes. that's it. The things he's said to me. The things he's don to me. It's always him. Always. I can't seem to forget about how I feel for him. It's a bit ironic that love can come so easily, in an instant sometimes. And yet it never seems to let go, and stays for longer than a lifetime.  
  
Hurt Again  
  
I can't walk up to you. I can't even talk to you, The things you say scold me, Are cold to me and bold to me. I can no longer talk to you, I'll just get hurt again.  
  
I cry every time you speak to me, It may seem babyish but it really hurts me. The things you say, Every day, You'd thi8nk I'd be used to it by now. But no, I always get hurt again.  
  
I seem to get hurt again, You treat me like dirt again, Your words burn through me like acid, Scorching hot and loud. You say it this way, for the way you treat me, you are more than proud. You love to see me hurt, you love to watch me cry. And you know that as long as you treat me this way, my tears will never run dry.  
  
I just get hurt again, My tears falling like rain, I just get hurt again, For things will never be the same. I'll never get your respect again, So you continue to treat me this way, I must get hurt again, For you never lead your words astray. You're always on this very subject, Of hurting me all the time. I will never earn back your respect, So I'll cry for you, till the end of time.  
  
END MEMORY LOG  
  
Memory Log: 120  
  
Diary, I'm sorry I haven't been writing in you lately, it's just that I have so much on my mind. And I'm getting worse. I can't stop crying. and I have been so weak I can barely get out of bed. I haven't been attending school for the past five days. I've been so sick. I'd cried so much that I started vomiting. I haven't been able to keep any food down, and yet I still regurgitate. I think I've been vomiting a mixture of blood and stomach acids. That's not a good sign. Diary, I think I'm dying. I don't know if I'll even get to see Christmas, though it is so near.  
  
To You  
  
Another strange place, Another new face, Another new day, Another act to play.  
  
More people stare, More paranoia there, More fear to hold me back, More frustration to get me off track.  
  
I wish I could see him, I wish that he cared. I wish he wouldn't ignore them, Those feelings we shared.  
  
Maybe he'll remember, Just how much he cares. And when I return in December, I'll find gentle loving stares.  
  
Maybe he'll regret this, Breaking up with me. Maybe he'll notice, That it didn't make him happy.  
  
Maybe you'll finally see, That our love was true, Maybe you'll start to notice me, And how much I love you.  
  
END MEMORY LOG  
  
Memory Log: 122  
  
Diary, I was taken to the hospital yesterday. They had no idea what was wrong with me. So they put me on some anti-depressants, and now I must get my meals intravenously. But I am to attend school tomorrow, December the second. I hope that he'll change. but on such short notice, why would he? He'll probably laugh and call me pathetic. He sickens me with his cruelty, but I love him. no matter what.  
  
YOU  
  
I long to hear the voice again, Pounding through my brain. I long to rejoice again, But things will never be the same.  
  
I wish to be your "one" again, As tears stream down my face. I think of all you've done again, But that doesn't compromise your grace!  
  
I wish to hear those words again, Drowning in my tears, Apart, we are worlds again. Worse than all my darkened fears.  
  
I want to see your face again, Rhapsody at the site. You are the prize of the human race, my friend. So for you, I will continue to fight.  
  
END MEMORY LOG  
  
Memory Log: 129  
  
Diary, I've given it a weak and I'm sick of all this! I hate it. I hate the way he treats me, I hate these moronic pills! They make me so sick and give me extreme migraines. They seem to be doing the opposite of what they should. and he isn't helping it any. I've decided that my heart will finally get her wish. I will make it happen. I will find love, I will be released from my pain, and I will be accepted. Oh, and Diary, when they find you. make sure that they read this. They may read any logs that they like, but make sure that they see this one. Please. This is my final request. Farewell, one who has been so loyal, and so understanding of me. The only one who has EVER understood me. I bid thee, good luck.  
  
Tortured Princess  
  
How can I be beautiful, When I'm nothing but in pain? You see me here, I'm crying, Tortured Princess is my name.  
  
I can believe nothing but you insults, Enough to go insane, You see me here, I'm dying. Tortured princess is my name.  
  
You belittle me, and turn away, So I live in alone in shame, You see where my body is lying, Tortured Princess was my name.  
  
I felt nothing but the harsh words upon your lips, And you say that I'm to blame. But the proof lies on your fingertips. Tortured Princess was my name.  
  
My blood is spilled upon the floor, I could never be the same. You see me there, and shut the door. Tortured Princess was my name.  
  
No one to miss me, no one to care, So my death goes unnoticed. "Another suicide" but to me more pain than one could bare. I could never even wish to be missed.  
  
Though my pain was infinite, It was nothing to dim the worlds flame, My death, though tragic, went right through it. As goes by another day.  
  
I've done all I can, I have nothing left to give. But one thing puzzles me still,  
  
That if I am dead, then why does my pain still live?  
  
  
  
Tortured Princess  
  
"And that was the last of the entries in the young girls' diary. Her body was found about a day later in front of a suburban family's house. In blood the same poem was written with a quill pen on paper and grasped in her hand. The family that found her had gone on a trip and gotten back that morning when the girl was found. On the note gripped in her hand there was the name of "Gregory Herald Washington" written on it, he was one of the residences of that house. The young man was found three days later in his room with the same letter grasped in his hands. He had died the same way as the young girl. He was found with his wrists slit, and the letter in his hand. Also there was something that detectives had missed at the bottom of the letter. In the girls' blood it had also said, "I will haunt you forever for this, Gregory. I love you, and I always will. I hope that now you will finally notice it. I hope that now you will finally regret this, and see. that I would die for you." The young man was found with "Guilt Ridden" carved into his stomach and chest area. This is Janie Smith with Headline News." 


End file.
